Second Major Attempt On My Life
Today i had an encounter with a Turkish man whilst out and about in London. I had never met him before, I didn't say anything to him, so I was quite surprised when he hit me.
Fortunately, after a little time talking he apologised and we said goodbye on good terms... (he even gave me his phone number!)
It is not a particularly long or interesting story, but... just for fun, I will add a few details.
He was a fairly short man, bald, mid thirties, wearing jeans and a t-shirt that did nothing for his figure. He travelled a lot, and was just about to go to Cyprus, but his english was not too good, and this is perhaps one of the reasons that our encounter didn't last long.
I guess the most important detail was that he was driving a truck when he hit me.
But don't worry, because I had a small tin box around me to protect me!
We didn't hit it off too well at first. He was a little forward and knocked me sideways with his introduction.
I can't say that my life flashed before me. If it had it couldn't have lasted long.
The only thing that flashed before me was Allied Carpets! And with 220 retail outlets within the UK, it is no surprise that I was not far from one of their many stores.
Find your local store here! http://www.alliedcarpets.co.uk/storesearch.asp
It occurred to me, whilst admiring their superb range of quality carpets, vinyls, woods and laminates, that not only did I not want to purchase any of the aforementioned items, but that I was facing the wrong way. You do not normally windowshop behind your own window, with the items wizzing past.
Whilst looking through the front windscreen it is traditional, for the motion of the vehicle to be in a forward direction, and for things to pass you at the side. Here the situation was rather different, and things were passing the windscreen of the car.
I believe it is also traditional for the car wheels to rotate whilst the car is moving. In my new, experimental driving style, this was rather unnecessary. (A note of caution, to anyone considering adopting my sideways driving style: It does increase tyre wear somewhat.)
Time seemed to pass very slowly as I slid sideways at 50mph along the A466 Angel Road.
If I looked to my left I could see a white truck on my my left wing-mirror. Sorry, not IN my wing-mirror, ON my wing mirror.
I could clearly see the bull-bars of the truck through the now open window, particularly as some of them were now IN my car. Why a truck needs bull-bars I do not know... do they really need that level of protection?! Was the truck damaged - Nope! not at all. The company would never know if their driver had ploughed through about 10 vehicles.
An object remains at rest or at uniform motion unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. Newton's 1st law – (one of my favourites).
I'm not saying the truck driver is unbalanced or anything* but i was happily driving in my lane before he applied an unbalanced force to my car.
Some people, who stopped for a stare, advised that when I pray to god tonight that I should thank him for saving me. I was on Angel Road after al!
I thank Ford, the laws of physics, the nice man from the RAC, (although I am going to join the AA, because you get £10 off!) and my insurance company who will be buying me half a new car. I am also kinda pleased that I got health insurance - I only got it because I got free gym membership for 6 months ( so it was much cheaper than joining the gym and you can cencel whenever - I digress, but its a good offer so I will put a link here)
A life changing experience!? NO...
...although in Tesco today, I decided to put back the healthy option sandwich, and grabbed the most unhealthy, but delicious looking sandwich they had. I grabbed some chocolate chip brioche rolls and some kettle chips for later. (I can think of better culinary indulgences, but, hey, it was only lunch.)
Okay... So the fat will clog my arteries, and potentially kill me in 40 years... but hey... you have got to enjoy life....
....you could get hit by a bus tomorrow.
Sympathy: There will be an open casket for the car. There is no burial, it will be left to RIP (rust-in-pieces*)
Please do not send flowers. Donations can be made to the "Buy Scott A New Car Charity".
Currently listening : A Blessing And A Curse
By Drive-by Truckers
Release date: By 18 April, 2000
